September 22, 2010

Twenty Years

Twenty years ago I attended a wedding. The couple, who everyone thought was way too young to be getting married, also had a terribly unrealistic plan for their future. They were going to skip the whole house and mini-van routine, and buy a boat and head out to sea.
While it seemed pretty certain that the marriage was doomed, I had a pretty good time dancing at that wedding. And a really great time on the honeymoon. I also continued to enjoy the past twenty years (give or take a few sucky months here and there…). It turns out that despite being a bit young and inexperienced, I chose a wonderful partner: a man who's accompanied me on some really great adventures, and who's been a good friend through the roughs and the calms.
If I've learned anything about marriage during the past twenty years, it's that there's no magic formula for a good one. It's kind of like cruising boats-one person's dream boat is another person's fixer upper. The wonder of this though is there are no rules-and that there is all kinds of beautiful when it comes to both boats, and marriage. And, at the risk of abusing the analogy, there's no way of really knowing for sure which boat, or marriage, will go the distance. There are a lot of dangerous reefs and storms out there. And sometimes the crew just loses heart.
We spent our twentieth anniversary rolling in the seas that were churned up by Georgette. But beyond the swell, a bit of gusty wind and some receding clouds that was pretty much it for the storm up here. But we were prepared. And we were content to have it pass us by without a smack.
So tonight we'll celebrate twenty years of marriage, two boats, one child and a world filled with amazing friends and family with a Key Lime pie and some ice wine from home. And we'll congratulate that young couple from so long ago; the kids who were too inexperienced and naive to realize that the risks they took in getting married and going for their dreams were crazy ones.
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6 comments:

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Happy Twentieth Anniversary to you both. Finding the one you can trust with your dreams, your heart and your kid can be a lifetime endeavor--you all got the search out of the way early and spent the decades fine-tuning paradise. Love it. May the next twenty continue the adventure.

Lori said...

Congratulations, you two! Sounds like you are exactly where you wanted to be on this very special day. We send all our love to the whole family, x Lor., Moshe & Danielle

boatbaby said...

Awwwww congratulations you two old timers. I have to say, I laughed out loud at the analogy of Evan being a "fixer upper" -- too funny! Hugs and kisses to you both and hey -- pass the ice wine!

jeff said...

What a beautiful post.

Deb said...

Congratulations! We met when I was 15 and Tim was 16 and we've been together ever since. We celebrated our 35th anniversary this year. You're right - everyone thought we'd never make it but here we are. The secret? Being best friends first. I can't think of another human being I'd rather spend time with than this man that has loved me all these years. Hope you have at least as many happy years as we've had and more!

Deb
S/V Nomad
www.theretirementproject.blogspot.com

Diane, Evan and Maia said...

Thanks for all the congrats:) It's been a great journey.
Cindy--after I posted this and described what I wrote to friends the really good analogies started to fly: the guys suggestion of trading one boat for the newer model was countered with finding one with a bigger engine and a longer bowsprit;)